7 Parenting Tips Every New Parent Needs to Hear

As a new mom, I constantly find myself in uncharted territory. Sometimes it feels like a daily event, and on those days I find myself researching the "right thing" to do for my baby girls. You could research until the cows come home just to find that there are a million different opinions, and a million different answers. All of that searching can be enough to make a new sleep deprived mama to lose her mind.

These are few things I've found along the way that always seem to do the trick of putting things in perspective and setting my mind at ease.

1. Learn to love the imperfection.

Listen..... not every day is going to be the picture perfect facebook life that your 100,000 closest friends and followers make it out to be. All kidding aside, Things happen. Let go, and learn to embrace the imperfection of raising a child. You are going to have some amazing moments and some down right depressing ones as a parent. This in itself does NOT define you as a mom or dad. Being a parent is a collective work. It takes the bad days to make the good ones that much sweeter. And it takes knowing the good days to make the bad ones worth the struggle. It means laughing it off when your daughter spits up all over your new dress when you're about to leave the house, then rushing upstairs to put on the next best option. Put everything in perspective and find the serenity to get you through. This becomes a piece of what defines us as parents.

2. Put your spouse first.

I know this is going to sound crazy to most.... but hear me out..... I know your first instinct is to put your child first, But the truth is you and your spouse are the foundation for your kids. Strength in your marriage gives them the security they need to develop and live to their fullest potential. Knowing I have Michaels' support and strength, I can then give my girls my all. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of times I struggle, and in those times I look to Michael. When my world feels like complete chaos, and I haven't accomplished a single thing that day, my hair is a mess and so is the rest of the house, he is my calm. This goes both ways in our marriage, and because of that, we can be the best versions of ourselves for our girls. Your kids will learn more from watching your actions then the words you speak.

3. Give yourself a new perspective

It's easy to let the weight of the situation overwhelm you. Remember, you were literally built for this. God wouldn’t give you anything you couldn’t handle. When the weight seems like too much for one person to bear, I try to remind myself just how many great moms and dads there are out there, and realize that even they are not perfect. Think of how many other families have gone through this very same struggle. If they can do it, so can you. Some challenges are bigger than others, but know your family is worth this challenge

Just recently I found myself struggling. My oldest daughter just turned 2.... yes.... the terrible 2's, and my baby girl is just about 4 months and attached to my hip. The laundry is piled up and I'm starting to think the girls are in cahoots with one another to make sure the crying never stops. This night in particular, they finally both fell asleep and I came across a movie. Like Arrows. And after his extremely long day at work, Michael decided to watch with me. It turned out to be the exact reminder we both needed to put everything in perspective. Sometimes you just need to step back and be reminded of your strength

4. Memories aren't planned.

With life going full speed 24/7 it's easy to get caught up in the moment. Don't forget what really matters. looking back at some of my favorite memories, I couldn’t tell you if the floors were swept or mopped. And I’m sure there was laundry lurking around somewhere. But that’s not what's remembered. Growing up in my family the chaos was half the excitement, making memories means hitting pause in the middle of cooking dinner because your daughter wants to show you how she can make her own play-food pasta for dinner just like you. Or stopping in the midst of your conversation because they absolutely need to show you their toy. As frustrating as those things can be in the moment, they will be the memories that make you smile in 20 years from now.

5. Put the effort in now.

Boundaries are important. It won't be the easy road, but as the verse goes: Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it. When it comes to discipline, consistency is key. If you and your husband set the rules, you both need to stand united when it comes to enforcing them. I know this isn't going to be easy on your sanity, and you're going to want to give in at times, and there are plenty of times it will be easier to give in, but BE STRONG! With a toddler this can really wear you down day after day, but standing your ground is so important for the long haul. Each time they break one of the rules, the same action needs to be taken. You don't want to be all stick and no carrot, as Michael likes to say. So it's also just as important to reward for good behavior.

6. Less things more experiences.

Countless studies have been done on kids that spend quality time with their family vs. ones that don't, and the results are pretty much unanimous. Don't take these days for granted, they won't last forever. So take the time to read to your kids every single day! Don't put them in front of a tablet. Play with them outside when it's nice out, put your phone down and enjoy the moment. Have them help you with the chores, even though it might not be their favorite part of the day, it's still time spent together and they'll learn something valuable from the moment. Sing to them and listen to music together, whether it's in the car during a long drive, during bath time, or just background noise in the playroom during the day. There's so much they have to learn in the world, and they don't need things to teach them nearly as much as they need their parents. Your kids won't remember half of the toys they had over the years, but they will remember the things you take the time to experience with them.

7. Routine is key!

Routine helps your kids feel grounded by knowing what to expect through out the day. But The daily routine doesn't only effect them. I have 2 baby girls and a million things I need to get done during the day. If I didn't have a routine I'd never be able to accomplish anything. By giving them a routine, I can plan their day and my day accordingly. This, plain and simple gives you sanity and your children a sense of security and structure.